When I saw that one of my articles had been read almost ten times more than my others on a well known e-zine site, I was forced to ask myself why? The article was a detailed methodology for achieving mental energy and making it work for us. It dawned on me that much of what I have been observing around me for a long time really is true. People are in dire need of positive focus and powerful energy that they can direct on their own behalf. Happiness is probably the biggest issue of all, in this context, and I honestly can say that I know almost no truly happy people. This is very unfortunate, because people deserve to be happy! Here are seven easy steps to help my readers get on the path to happiness, and go all the way until they get there.
1. Eliminate unneeded chaos from your life. If your house isn’t clean the way you want it, get your family together and clean it. If your job is unfulfilling keep at it, but seek something that appeals to you more until you find it. (The search will bring a level of satisfaction that will actually reduce your distaste for your present job). If you are overwhelmed in any area of your life, sit down with a pad and pen and write about it. Describe it in detail, analyze the issues and challenges involved, and work out a strategy for relieving the pressure on yourself. Seek help from friends and family if necessary. A large part of the problem in most people’s lives is that they tend to accept their burdens with unnecessary grace. They do it, but they resent it, and it eats at them and reduces the quality of life significantly. I recommend setting personal limits so that you are not allowing yourself to be manipulated or taken for granted. If you cannot do something say no. Set a later date to do it, or maybe find someone else who is free who can help.
2. Communicate your true feelings. If you are worried about how others will react, don’t be. If you can state your true feelings in a positive and polite way you will get very little resistance, and will free yourself from a huge burden. When you are able to consistently do this you will find yourself solving many problems before they start. Remember the old saying: “What a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive?” This is every bit as true for people who hide their true feelings as it is for a perpetual liar who is always getting caught. Not speaking your feelings traps you into actions and words that you often do not want to say or do, and eventually the truth has a way of coming out anyway. An example of how to do this politely but firmly is this: “I’m sorry, Darla. I really can’t take on that project right now. I just have too much on my plate. If you want I can help find someone who can help you with it…” or “I appreciate the invitation, Mark, but I’m just too tired to go out tonight. I think I’m just going to take a hot bath and go to bed early.” These are simple examples, but you get the point. In the first example a project would have suffered because the speaker already was fully booked. In the second example the speaker would have gone out and probably not enjoyed themselves, and possibly would have brought down the mood of everyone around them.
3. Analyze your mood every morning before you start off to work. The shower is a good place to do this. Pre-plan your day based on what is likely to happen. Strategize for challenge-solving, plan tasks so that you get them done efficiently, and do the hardest things to deal with first. Taking a proactive approach to your day before it begins will allow you to remain in control and avoid any potential for you to become overwhelmed.
4. Now the hard part. Family time. The most challenging time for many people is when they are dealing with the needs of many people under one roof. Here are some things to help. If you are a parent, have firm rules and expectations and enforce them. Delegate chores fairly to all members of the household. Have dedicated meal times that are not allowed to be missed except in very specific circumstances. An out of district ball game is one thing. Out with friends is another. Communicate spouse to spouse and ensure that you are both on the same page, have mutually agreed on the rules, and are both enforcing them and supporting each other. Having taken care of the rules, now make sure to have regular fun as a family. Get out and do things together. Many families dissolve after kids get to a certain age, and the parents sit at home while their teenagers are out and about. Schedule regular times to be together and do things. This is good for the happiness of both parents and children alike.
5. Control your influences. Very important. The mass media, cable television, even TV commercials are filled with rancor, nastiness, half-truths, and general discord. If you must watch news, find an unbiased and even-handed news source. If you cannot live without TV shows, watch how they affect your mood, and those of your family. If the resulting affect is not positive and personally fulfilling, change the channel. In a related situation, if news is making you angry, as it seems to be doing so much these days, research issues before signing onto any bandwagon. Even better, if the issues do not personally affect you, leave them out of your personal thoughts. In addition, make sure that the people that you spend time with are positively affecting you, and are not bringing you down. There’s nothing wrong with telling a friend that you prefer to think positively and would like to change the conversation to a different topic.
6. Deal with your finances and make sure that they are not controlling you! Pay down your debts by cycling high interest debt to lowest interest. Pay off high, then middle, then lowest interest debt. Then invest the savings into a strong and high yielding account. Use a money manager or reputable firm to help you here. Debt and financial problems are perhaps the largest source of duress for the average person. Don’t let them control you! Take control and never relinquish it. For more information on this topic read my article on becoming debt free.
7. Find pursuits that you love and embrace them! Many people come home and flip through television channels, or watch their favorite shows. This is mind-numbing, but not really fulfilling deep down. The happiest people have pursuits that they love and that are fulfilling. Some people do crafts, some fish, some hunt, some paint or write poetry or stories. Some do ceramics, some like to walk every day, many play sports or board-games. Get your mind moving with activities that you enjoy and you find stimulating or emotionally fulfilling.
By following these steps you will take control back in your life and build a recipe for happiness. You will control your words, your actions, and your emotions. The end result is that you will be more fulfilled and less worried. You will be more productive and no longer overwhelmed. You will enjoy life instead of being burdened by it. In short, you may not recognize yourself anymore, and you will truly love the end result.
